We Have Moved!

Namaste All!

My blog has moved.  Beginning on July 7, 2011 my blog will be featured on my brand new website, http://www.sadeqajohnson.com/.  Please come over and join the party.  I'll be waiting for you.

Love, Light and Laughter!

Sadeqa

You Are Your Thoughts, So Let's Change Them!

Isn't it beautiful out?  I've been finding inspiration everywhere.  Today I got creamed on the tennis court (and I'm very competitive) so I had to remind myself to enjoy playing the game simply for pleasure.  Then I got caught up watching a single butterfly flying around a bush and I was overcome with gratitude for my wonderful life.  I'm listening to Dr. Wayne Dyer's audio of The Power of Intention and have been feeling quite in tuned with controlling my thoughts.  We don't realize how powerful our thoughts are and how we manifest lack and abundance into our lives on a daily basis.  Iyanla Vanzant says, "As long as you are holding on to what you have, your path of possibilities is blocked.  The holding can be mental, emotional or physical.  In any case, it is a sign of fear."  When we hold on to things, people, ideas it is because our conscious minds are focused on lack.  When you think lack you attract lack.  When you think abundance, you attract abundance.  Simple, right? 

So just for today, every time you find yourself focused on a problem or a negative aspect of your life I want you to stop and change your thought.  Dr. Wayne Dyer teaches that everything comes in response to the vibration of energy, so shift away from lower vibrations (jealousy, fear, anger, depression) and into higher vibrations (Source, love, forgiveness, peace, gratitude).

Our minds get stuck on thoughts such as: I never have enough money.  No one appreciates how hard I work.  I suck at my job.  I'm a horrible mother.  No matter how hard I try I just can't do anything right.  We listen to people who tell us that we are not good enough, strong enough on the right path and we take this to heart.  But Dr. Dyer offers this small exercise in retraining our thoughts.  Instead of think the lower vibrational thoughts that I have outlined above, he suggests focusing on: 

It's already here; I just need to connect to it.  Nothing can stop my creative ideas from materializing.  I've banished all doubt.  I'll soon be seeing evidence of my manifestations everywhere... I urge you to give the power of retraining your mind a try.  Trust me it works, because it is happening to me.

Be blessed and oh, so very happy!

Love, Light and Laughter!

Guided Meditation

Namaste!  Please enjoy this guided meditation shot on beautiful Martha's Vineyard.  I recorded this three-minute session to assist you with your meditation practice.  I hope you will use this as a tool to get you started.  Your time is sacred.  Make meditation the gift you give yourself.

Please let me know what you think!

Love, Light and Laughter,

Podcast Here!

Hey everyone!  The podcast is here!  Are you ready to take your meditation practice to the next level?  Over the next few weeks I will include a podcast with my blog to help and guide you so that you can reach that place of inner stillness, grow a rich mediation practice, strength your intuition and get to that delicious place called peace.  Thanks again for trusting me to navigate this ride.

This is jus the beginning, there is much, much more to come!

Let's Glow!

 

All About You Day was fantastic!  I was as nervous as a geek asking the popular girl to prom, until I reminded myself to breath and let the message come through me.  It was an amazing experience and I thank everyone for the overwhelming support.  Do you remember my blog post Dreamboards Anyone on March 1?  Well, as I'm sitting in the audience listening to Sakina Spruell, the organizer of the event talk about how she has been creating the life she wants and referred to her own Dreamboard/Vision Board I sat there thinking wait a minute.  On my dreamboard which I put together two months ago I taped two quotes to the center of my board:

"Motivational speakers in high demand can see lucrative pay days."  "Inspiring keynote speakers." 

Beautifuls, is that me below holding the microphone speaking to 200 women? 

 by Mary Brown

This morning I got a message from a friend who is pitching me to give a talk at the Mocha Mom's national convention this July in Las Vegas.  Do you see how this works?  Ask, put your intention out there and then trust that God will handle the work behind the scenes.

Remember the Hurston/Wright Writers' Week Workshop that I applied to at Howard University?  Well, I was one of a handful of fiction writers who got in!  I will be hob nobbing with writers from across the country and studying with Marita Golden, the President Emeritus of the program.  Can you feel me glowing?  Come on, I want you to glow too.

When you meditate you open up your line of communication with God.  The more you meditate, the stronger and clearer that line becomes.  We are all born with a special a gift that we can offer the world.  There is something that you can do better than anyone in the Universe.  Some of us know our gifts early on but for others it's a struggle.  When you meditate you open yourself up to receive information at a deeper level than we do during normal waken consciousness.  "Meditation is time where the Holy Spirit has a chance to enter our mind and perform divine alchemy," says Marianne Williamson, "it not only changes what we think, it changes how we think it."

Your assignment for this week is to find a comfortable place and sit quietly for five minutes.  Light a candle and set an Intention for yourself, then as you go into the meditation put these questions out into the Universe.  Who am I?  What do I want?  What is my purpose?  How can I serve?  I promise you if you are patient and intuned, you will receive your answer.

Get ready to create the life you want and let's live in full Purpose!
Love, Light and Laughter!

Perfect Now

                                         

I must admit to having moments, days, whole sections of my life when I have felt insecure. Worrying what people are thinking about how I spend my days at home with the children.  I remember thinking that as soon as I get this book published then I'll be someone, everyone will see just how busy I've been working and that I'm important.  I judged myself based on what others were doing and felt less than while my friends climbed the corporate ladder, got masters and doctorate degrees while I typed away on a dream that seemed to forever be deferred.  Having to defend myself as a writer with no income or product to show for it was draining and often sent me crawling around in the dark.  I thought that I would be good enough once I've became published, made more money (okay, any kind of money), was able to buy Honey his dream house and then I'd live happily ever after.  After listening to A Return to Love by Marianne Williamson (at least three times), I've been stunned with the realization that I've been waiting for the world to validate my worthiness.  The only person who has held me back from feeling good enough, smart, talented, successful is me.  I know this must sound crazy as my message and goal is to be a motivating Light, but to teach you have to learn and it's soulfully cleansing to finally get it.  



It is so easy to get caught up in thinking that success and happiness comes after you achieve that long laundry list that we have constructed in our heads, and only after will we be content.  It's a lie.  The list never goes away and if we don't stop, pause and realized our own perfection right now then we become like hamsters on a running wheel.  We are all perfect now, not after...or once...now. 

Marianne Williamson has become famous for, "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.  It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.'  We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?  Actually, who are you not to be?  You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world.  There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.  We are all meant to shine, as children do.  We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.  It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.  And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.  As we're liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

This thought makes me feel glorious inside.  So let this be our mantra for the week.  "I am perfect now.  I have achieved greatness already and tomorrow will be even better, but right now in this present moment my life is perfect.  Right now.  I will not wait until the laundry list is accomplished to feel powerful beyond measure.  I'm claiming my power, my greatness, my success right now and it feels great!"

I love you for reading and giving me a platform.  We have so many wonders to achieve together and I'm glad that you have committed to the ride.

"Sing out, don't worry about singing well!"

Love, Light and Laughter!

Learn to Hear the Small Voice

Sadeqa Johnson

             
I must admit to being incredibly happy these days.  I'm sure it has a lot to do with the weather finally changing over affording us with mounds of sunlight, and fragranced wild life blossoming at every turn.  The energy from both meditation classes has been incredible for the last two weeks, and it’s an honor to lead such a wonderful group.  Right now I'm replenishing my soul by listening to a Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of "A Course in Miracles" by Marianne Williamson and I feel her message changing and effecting me in a profound way.   She explains that, "five minutes spent with the Holy Spirit guarantees that He will be in charge of our thoughts formed throughout the day.  When we meditate we receive information at a deeper level than we do during normal waken consciousness."  Meditation is time spent with God in silence and quiet listening.  It's the time where the Holy Spirit has a chance to enter our mind and perform divine alchemy.  Mediation not only changes what we think, but it changes how we think it.  The glass is no longer half empty, it is always half full.

This morning I was driving my children to school.  I forgot my Ez Pass so I decided to maneuver the streets instead of the highway.  I hit a detour and it took nearly ten minutes to get off of one city street.  Usually I am very uptight when it comes to time and being late throws me into a tizzy but this morning instead of focusing on being late; I focused on having extra time to assure my little people went to school in a jubilant state.  We joked about me putting the car in turbo and busting through traffic with my pretend sirens.  I made each kid a superhero and told them we were on an adventure.  The experience had us laughing harder than I could have imagined.  Even though we arrived ten minutes late for school (please don't tell Honey), we were so full of joy that it didn't matter.  The glass was half full.  The Present is the only time there is.  Marianne says, "Little children are brilliant, if we could be as little children then the world would finally grow up."

I know that you may think that there isn't enough time to meditate, but the truth of the matter is the more you meditate the more time you have.  "Meditation is a profound relaxation where the vain imagination of the ego is burned away.  We all have within us a direct radio line to the voice of God.  The problem is the radio is full of static.  In our quiet times that we spend with God the static melts away.  We learn to hear the small still voice for God," says Marianne.  The more you mediate the closer you are to the person who God has intended you to be.  You might not want to hear what's said (remember I did not want to publish my own book but wanted a big name brand house to pluck me out of the sea of writers and tell me that I was good enough, that I had arrived), but I realized through my daily mediation and listening that I'm good enough now.  I'm a writer now, I'm already important because I am made in His image.  My life path is much brighter than I can imagine, and so is yours.  Trust in yourself.   Sing out and don't worry about singing well.

Mother's Day is on Sunday, and whether you are a mother, a sister, a daughter, a Girl Scout troop leader, piano teacher, wife, friend, celebrate Sunday as a new beginning for yourself.  Start your meditation practice by sitting quietly for five minutes.  Let this be the moment that you start putting yourself first.  You deserve it Beautiful!

While you are at it put A Return to Love on your summer reading, and I hope that it will touch you the way it is me.

Hope to see you next Saturday at All About You.  If you haven't registered for your tickets please do.

Passcode:AAYOU
http://www.aayou.eventbrite.com/

Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy!

The Light inside of you wants to get out, let it!

It's All About You!

photo by Miles Johnson (age 7)

I was meditating very peacefully on my front porch enjoying the faint sound of two birds chirping and a girl walking by my house shooting the breeze with her girlfriend.  It was a pleasant experience until Honey started banging on the door because he forgot his key, and as one of my meditation students says, "he scared the bejesus out of me."  I tried to go back to that place of peace but it was lost.  Don't you hate when that happens?

It's been a very interesting week.  I've been asked to speak at All About You Day on May 14th in New York City in front of 300 women.  (I know, I'm pinching myself too).  All About You is a one-day women's empowerment conference covering topics including money, beauty, relationships, and love of self.  I will give a talk on inner peace and meditation.  Of course you are invited, go to http://www.keepingitrich.com/allaboutyoudayand register with the Passcode: AAYOU.  It's free.

Last night I was chatting with one of my meditation friends about speaking on the program.  The conversation got me thinking about the power of Intention and how about a month ago I set the Intention of being a motivational/inspirational speaker.  In addition to writing this down I declared it on my Dreamboard.  Now look how quickly my seed has grown!  I'm thrilled by this opportunity and I can feel in my bones that this is just the beginning.  The sky is not even the limit Beautifuls, and I want you to feel as empowered as I'm feeling right now. 



Grab a piece a paper, your laptop, your journal, the back of your grocery list, the notes section in your smart phone, and let's start setting our Intentions by answering the following questions.  I'll even include my orgininal answers from a few blogs ago just to provide a little direction.

What am I good at?
I'm good at writing, speaking, teaching, easing worries and helping people see things clearly.

What do I want?
I want to be a successfully published novelist, have my novels turn into featured films, inspire with my blog, grow my weekly meditation class into workshops that I'll conduct all over the globe, write a book to accompany the class/workshops, speak, interact, be heard.
(Okay, nothing like putting it all out there.)

What is my Purpose?
My purpose is to inspire, teach, touch, heal, and entertain.

How can I serve?
By shining my light on every person I reach and living without judgement.

So what is my Intention?
My Intention is to touch and change people's lives with my gifts of communication (writing, speaking, healing and teaching).

Aaah!  That feels powerfully clear.  Now it's your turn.  Feel free to send me your post.  Get busy, times is a ticking!

Enjoy life my friends.

The sky is not even the limit!

Love, Light and Laughter!

Happiness Meter

I was reading Ebony magazine, the one with the cast of Jumping the Broom on the cover and there was a wonderful article on how being happy can change your life.  I read the article in the nail salon while getting yet another thirty dollar gel manicure that's supposed to last me two weeks when in all actuality last me about five days, but I try to remain optimistic each time I go (and next time will politely demand a discount).  The article said that some people are just not happy.  They walk into every situation unhappy and if a happy person and an unhappy person are faced with the same issue it's always that much worst for the unhappy person.  My friends laugh at me all the time because I'm always trying to see the sunny side of things.  While out to dinner the waitress came to the table and was quite abrupt, and one of my friends commented, "I don't like her she's nasty."  I said, "well, let's just kill her with kindness.  She can't be nasty if we are all sunshiny sugary sweet."  Everyone laughed and the mood of the table changed. 



On a flight yesterday, the cabin attendant tried to have me and my three children removed from an already delayed plane because my lap child (little Miss bossy) was slightly over age.  This woman went so far as to march down the aisle and call the pilot on me!  I was nervous because the next flight wasn't for three hours and I didn't want to fork over any more cash to get home.  I sat in my chair breathing deeply while asking that God make me equipped to handle the outcome.  When the attendant returned she said, "today is your lucky day.  The only reason why you are allowed to stay on is because there is a pilot who has to get to Newark and there is no time to waste."  I smiled pleasantly and thanked her.  Now of course on the inside I'm thinking who in their right minds kicks a women traveling alone with three children off a one-hour flight?  Is it really that serious?  But I remained cool and pleasant and didn't let the fact that she embarrassed me in front of rows and rows of patrons get to me.  I dug in deep for my reserve stock of inner happiness because what would I have gained by being pissed off and cursing her out in my head for the duration of my flight?  My stomach would have been in knots, the way I interacted with my children (who were excited about the plane ride) would have been tainted and the trip would have ended sourly.  Instead I remained positive and even smiled and thanked the flight attendant for a lovely trip.  Was this hard?  Not really because I refused in that moment to give away my power and my right to enjoy a pleasant trip with my children. 

We have choices.  We can choose to let something throw us completely out of whack and ruin our whole day (trust me it has happened to me more times that I can count) or we can choose to let negative energy roll off of our shoulders and look on the brighter side of things.  By being present to the moment we don't give the negative encounters of the past our attention.


If you find this hard the Ebony article suggested building yourself a happiness first aid kit complete with things that automatically bring you joy such as; a playlist, the smell of lavender and patchouli, candles, a rock that you collected from last years vacation to the beach, a photo of someone who always makes you smile, a dried flower from a lover, lacy underwear, lemon ginger tea, bath salts, a favorite crystal, or a strawberry shortcake sticker.  Make yourself a small box or container and store it somewhere where you can get to it when you need to bring yourself back to center.

Everyday I try my very best to radiate happiness from within and act as a beckon of Light for everyone I encounter.  Your challenge for this week is to radiate Light, whether it's being reciprocated or not.  Don't let someone else's attitude take away from your natural, God given right to be happy.  Smile, it's contagious and have a sun shiny week!  You're entitled to it!

Love and Laughter!

It's Been Too Long!

                                   

I've missed you and I'm so sorry that I didn't blog last week.  It has been insanely busy and I'm so grateful to be able to say that thing are going well for me and the future of 12th Street Press.  The company is now and LLC which means we are officially opened for business.  I signed my editorial contract last week with my fabulous editor Cherise Fisher who has worked with numerous New York Times best selling authors including Victoria Christopher Murray, Michael Baisden and David E. Talbert, so to say that I am in good hands is an understatement.  My website is being developed by Mary Brown and should be up and running in a month.  All I'm missing is dazzling cover art, a rich uncle to pay for my publicity campaign and an intern to help me become more social media saavy.

Sheesh, but the writing is going well.  I've been slaving away on my submission for the Hurston Wright Foundation Summer Program taking place in July at Howard University.  Dolen Perkins-Valdez, author of Wench (which I read in two days) is teaching the fiction workshop.  They only accept 12 students and I must be in the class.  I'm nervous because I have to submit 20 pages of my second novel which is in first draft shape at best, but I'm breathing and editing my way through it.  So please, say a prayer for me, cross your fingers and wish me luck!  D.C. here I come!

If you were unable to attend meditation class this week we discussed a passage from Iyanla Vanzant's book Until Today!.  Iyanla talks about the importance of taking care of You.  We all know that we are supposed to do it but how many of us really do it?  If you need a reason why this is so important, read what Iyanla has to say....

"Self-care is an acknowledgement of God's divine presence in you.  Spending time caring for your mind enables God's light, love and wisdom to shine through your thoughts.  When you make it a point to still your mind and your body to care for your spirit, you open yourself to receive the power of God's wisdom.  This wisdom leads to righteousness--right thinking, right action and right response in all aspects of your life.  There are people in the world who desperately need the presence of God's light.  You are a perfect source through which that light can shine to them.  People learn by example, and you are a living example.  The better you feel, the better you look.  The better you look, the more inspiration you offer.  The more inspiration you offer, the more believable it becomes that there are benefits and rewards for caring for the God in you.


Who in the world could not benefit from a little more wisdom?  A touch of love?  Or a surge of power?  All it takes is a little time.  A little care.  A few moments of silence and stillness each day.  (Meaning meditation) Do it for yourself.  Do it for the world.  If these reasons are not good enough, then do it for God.  Until today, you may not have realized that self-care is God care.  Just for today (actually I'm saying for this week), care for your mind, your body and your spirit as acknowledgment for God and in service to the world."

Isn't Queen Iyanla something?  Her picture is on my dream board and I wish that sister all of the comeback success that I can muster.  I'm still playing Marsha Ambrosius new album ever single day and if you haven't picked it up, get it!  My challenge to you for this week is to put yourself first and honor the God in you. 

I wish you Love, Light, Laughter, Peace, Blessings and Happiness!

Namaste Beautifuls!  Ashay, and Amen!

Back Woods Baby

photo by Sadeqa

“Puuush,” grunted the snag-a-tooth midwife squatted between my legs with curls of sweat weaved into the balding spots, separating gray sprouts of hair.  I could smell old age clinging to her scaly skin, and between that and the ear ringing contraction ripping through my body I felt like cussing.  But even in my condition, Gran would have reached over and slapped my face, so I held my tongue and did as I was told.  The old lady had already shoved her bare hand and whole arm inside of me, breaking my water deeming the baby ready.  Warm liquid dripped down my thighs, and was soaked up by the pile of towels propped under my behind.  Brown leather stirrups that looked like they belong to the horse out back, held my feet apart as I rocked against the tear splitting pain. 

We were in the back room of Gran’s sister, Kat’s house, embedded in the deep woods of the Blue Ridge Mountains in Virginia.  Ant Kat’s house sat in the middle of fifty acres, and Gran said the land had belonged to her family since right after slavery.  The room we were in was the most recent addition, added about ten years before.  The wallpaper was a faded mauve with potted plants, and the few pieces of furniture were old, mitch-matched but dusted clean.  The overhead lighting was fluorescent, and there was a desk lamp sitting on the floor at the foot of the bed, which Snag-a-tooth used to see.  I felt hot and damp, and could hear the mosquitoes buzzing round, fighting ‘gainst the screen door.   

A cousin I didn’t know kept rubbing a warm towel cross my forehead, and I liked her because she kept smiling with saucer-shaped eyes that told me I’d be okay.  Then she whispered in my ear, “Don’t worry, she delivers all the babies within fifty miles,” then patted my arm.

Gran stood on the other side of me, and Ant Kat was at the foot of the bed, beside old Snag-a-tooth reading bible versus, and calling out to Lawd Jesus for my strength and salvation.

“Push, chile, push,” Snag-a-tooth shouted at me again.  “I sees the head,” she said leaning in closer.

Well grab it I wanted to sass, but right then a cold pain pierced through my belly with a fierceness that had my whole body shivering and teeth rattling, so much that I was sure I would swallow my tongue.  And even though I knew I was wrong for slipping out of church while Daddy Grace preached, and Gran was hunched down on her knees no doubt praying for my salvation, I didn’t want my life to end like this.  I found my voice and screamed like a lion would over the lost of her cub, and it came from some place so deep and real that even I didn’t recognize it.

“Hush up chile, wastin energy you gon’ need.  Baby’s crowning,” she said pushing my thighs further apart.  “Slow down, don’t want you tearing.”

Slow down, I can’t slow down.  Just get this thing out of me.  Please God, get it out.  I’ll never have sex again, I promise, just get this baby out.

Gran had leaned into my back, propping me up higher the way a hospital bed would have had I proper care, but no one back home knew I was having this baby, so I had to come way down to the country and have it in secret.  It was Gran’s idea, she didn’t want her sanctified church friends knowing of my indiscretion. 

“Next contraction, give it all ya got chile and this baby be here,” said Snag-a-tooth.  “Push like yous mad, push.”

On fire is the only way I could describe the heated pain that came from the split between my legs as she pulled the baby’s head out, and then let it dangle between my legs while she sucked the mucus from the nose and mouth.

“Slow and steady,” she said, and then yanked the rest of the body out of me.  I don’t know what happened after, cause the room went dark.  Maybe I fainted, but the next thing I knew, Gran was putting a swaddled baby in my arms, whispering that it’s a girl.  It’s a girl.  Then I looked at the little person in my arms and thought, wow she’s beautiful, and then lifted her cheek to my lips so that I could kiss her.  I smoothed back the black curl across her forehead, with the next thought pushing itself forward hurting worst than all of the pain that I had just endured. 

Too bad I can’t keep her.     

Angel.

Anxious? Just Breathe

All week I've been having the craziest dreams.  Yesterday I fell asleep on the couch and was jolted awake by a pole being rammed into my right eye.  Then last night I dreamt that my novel came out but the cover was a carbon copy of the book The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo (which looks nothing like what I envision).  I was at Barnes & Noble for a book signing, but  instead of being elated I was a nervous knot.  Nothing was going right.  The letters on the book cover were spelled out sloppily and inverted as if little Miss bossy did the graphics, and just as I was about to take the podium, someone from the audience started screaming, "plagiarizer, you stole this material from a famous book!"  Then the crowd started chanting, "plagiarizer, plagiarizer..." and I was as mortified as a mouse caught in a cheese trap.  I woke up with my stomach churning like a sausage-maker.

Even though I know I'm on the right path I'm still a bit anxious about taking on the project of publishing my own work.  There is a ton of behind the scenes work that has to be perfect in order for this project to be successful.  I'm a perfectionist on my best days and though things are lining up with the smile of God, that voice of self-doubt keeps trying to wiggle her way into my head.  I told you what to do when she slinks around, kick that heffa in the face with a steel-toed stiletto and step right over her.  So I am, I have, but she can be relentless and  hard to crush.  So what's a girl to do?  I breathe.  Sounds simple right, but true. 

The moment my head starts reeling with the what ifs, I take nice deep long breaths and focus on how the breathing makes my body feel.  Are you aware that some of us go through our whole day without ever taking time to breathe?  Trust me, breathing changes thing.  By simply tuning into your breath can help you move from a place of anxious, nervous energy into a calm and relaxing state, turning those moments that feel impossible into absolutely possible. 

Try it now, you can do it right at your desk with your eyes opened or closed (I prefer closed).  Breathe in while focusing on the flow of air through your nose, feel it go deep down into your chest and then exhale.  Notice the sensations, the aliveness in your body as you breathe.  Keep going, allow yourself to ride the wave of your own breath in and out.  In and out.  Ah!  Doesn't that feel good?  When I feel those low vibration thoughts of fear, anger, anxiety, depression, self-doubt and jealousy start creeping into my veins I find my breath.  I breathe until the moment passes.  Then I focus on filling myself up with higher vibration energies such as love, gratitude, peace, kindness, joy, grace, and that negative energy that was trying to grab a hold of me has no choice but to let go.  Why wouldn't it, I have a steel-toe stiletto.

 

Your task for this week is remember your own greatness.  You are worthy.  And if you still need more motivation, play Marsha Ambrosius' new album (the other half of Floetry), because I'm running the heck out of it and it's making me so happy!

Namaste Beautiful,
Love, Light and Laughter!

If You Believe!

I'm the reason why the children are outside trying to catch snowflakes on their tongue at the start of spring.  How else can I explain that things are happening for me so fast that my tummy is tap-dancing and my head twirling?  You remember the "almost publishing deal" and how I've had to flick the dirt from my collar, shake the rejection from my dress and try again.  Well, I've decided that I can no longer take no for an answer.  I've worked to hard perfecting the craft of writing and filling Erica and Warren's (main characters of Love in a Carry-on Handbag) voice with substance and juice, not to mention that they are both sexy as hell.  I've been at it for over ten years and now I'm ready for this project to pay some dividends. 

Honey has been after me since the beginning, encouraging me to put the novel out myself, but I've been dead set on selling my labor of love to a leading publishing house.  Why, because I've wanted the creditability of being plucked from the sea of hungry writers and welcomed behind the distinguishing curtain of "worthy writers with talent."  Well low and behold, I've discovered on this journey that the club no longer exists.  The big houses are in crisis, Border's has declared bankruptcy with Barnes & Noble right behind them, and editors can no longer take on those passion projects that most of us debut authors benefited from.  So gosh darn it, what's a girl to do?

Two weeks ago I pulled a Rune for myself that said, "your thinking is outmoded and you need to let go because you are holding on too tight."  Clearly not what I wanted to hear.  The next day Honey asked me, "is your goal to put this book out, or is your goal to put this book out with a major publishing house?"  Darn it.  Leave it to your spouse to shove a mirror in your face and make you examine your egotistical demons.  Of course I want a big publishing house, with a big marketing plan and sales budget.  I want to be the next big sensation that booksellers can't keep on the shelves complete with expense accounts, foreign rights, movie deals, the whole nine.  "So how are you going to get there," he asked. That's when I poked my lip out and crossed my arms with as much attitude as I could muster, mad that he asked the question, and hating that I had to deal with it.  Why isn't anything ever easy? 

Shedding more tears and then yanking my head from the clouds, I realized that it was time to make an adjustment.  Like the Rune said, my thinking is so outdated that Honey calls me a dinosaur.  I have been clinging and clutching to this idea of how it is supposed to be with such strength, that I've ignored the signs that God has placed in my path.  The other reason why I have not wanted to self-publish is because the work involved terrifies me.  As a stay-at-home mother who writes, the idea of one more thing getting in the way of my precious time penning is a no-no.  Contrary to what some may think, the written word does not drip off my fingers like liquid gold.  I can spend hours on one paragraph so taking on the responsibility of putting the whole package together is daunting, to say the least.

But have you heard the saying, "if you take one step towards God he'll take two steps towards you?"  Here I am testifying once again that it is happening to me!  As soon as I said yes to it, the doors flung wide open and the water carrying the right people, information and plan to help me along this journey rushed in.  Just today I reached out on blind faith to a top-tiered editor for assistance, and you know what she said?  "Of course I'd love to work on your manuscript."  Can you see me dancing in the kitchen with my hair sweating out?  This past weekend I came in contact with not one but THREE graphic artist who have wonderful ideas on how to make the book cover art pop like a shiny piece of licorice.  Honey is behind the scenes crunching the numbers, and with my publishing background things seem to be falling right in line. 

Love in a Carry-on Handbag is no longer an urban myth.  It really is coming to a store near you courtesy of 12th Street Press (Philly people holler if you hear me!).  I urge you to keep the faith and remember when failure trips you up and tries to strap you to the bed, kick that Heffa in the face with a steel-tip stiletto and step right over her.  Open your mind and remember the plan for you is much bigger than you could ever dream up.  I'm living proof!

Ashay! Namaste! Amen Beautiful!

Phenomenal Woman

Geraldine Murray (paternal)

2016 Moore Street housed some of my best childhood memories.  Sliding down the living room stairs wrapped in a blanket like it was a super slide, playing Chinese checkers with Poppop while being careful not to knock over his whiskey, eating thick slices of scrapple even though my father forbid his mother from serving us "swine," along with the most buttery silver dollar pancakes ever turned over a hot iron griddle.  Watermelon, pineapples, honey dew, cantaloupe chopped in bite sized chunks for whenever our little fingers craved a taste.  Schoolhouse in the middle bedroom where I was always the teacher my siblings my faithful students, jumping on the bed in the back room until our legs gave out or Mommom called from the bottom of the stairs, “stop that rough housing before I come up there," which just made us laugh because we knew she wasn’t walking up the stairs.  Mommom claimed she wasn’t one of those grandmothers who baked cakes and churned homemade ice cream and she was never keen on long body crushing hugs, but her love is and has always been obvious and apparent.   


I know Phenomenal women.  Don't you?

 Yvonne Clair (maternal)


My Gram dressed in her hot pink fedora while catching three trains with her pacemaker pumping, and arthritis aching all to attend little Miss bossy's 3rd birthday party.  When she hobbled through the door with her back bent, I knew that not even a rainstorm could have kept her from celebrating the birthday of the child that she prayed into the world.  From the cushiony chair in my too chilly hospital room she wrung her hands and recited bible verses long since committed to heart, proclaiming that my little one would arrive safely.  The baby that the doctors cautioned me could be still-born, mildly retarded and non-commutative.  When I screamed in anguished from birthing with no drugs, she shouted, "Help her sweet Jesus!"  Didn't I tell you I know Phenomenal women. 


My mother, who I give more attitude than even I can stand is sweetest at her core, and no matter what I do she never stops showering me with her overwhelming love.  You can find her washing our clothes, nourish our bodies with home-cooked meals, bathing my kids, dusting them in baby powder and greasing their scalps until their little bodies are squeaky-Nana approved-clean.  Always in my business asking me questions that make me clutch my crystal, and when I give her that look she replies, "what, I'm your mother!"  That she is and I'm grateful. 


I'm bragging now folks, because I really do know  Phenomenal women.  "Lucky" is not a strong enough word to describe how I feel to have a mother-in-law who God hand-picked just for me out of His magnificent sky.  A strong woman who raised her son to be a gentleman, and after almost nine years of marriage that man still helps me with my coat and opens doors for me like we're on a first date.  She loves me like I'm her child, and she nourishes me with her timeless wisdom. Trust me ladies, I know this isn't common and I consider myself privileged because I also have a wonderful "Second Mother," who is the perfect companion for my father and treats me like she birthed me.  Yes ma'am,  I know Phenomenal women.  Don't you?

Sisters

"Every sister ain't a sister," is how we greet each other when the other hasn't called in more than two days.  Our attachment is fierce and my sisters have my back even when I'm contradictorily wrong.  Then there is my sister circle who cheers me on and lifts me up.  The ladies in my meditation class who Om with me and share my ups and downs--I feel your prayers and I salute you for being Phenomenal women. 

When I was a girl I use to pray to God to send me a daughter so that I'd have someone to take to the nail salon.  Well he sent me two.  My Prima Diva asks me all the time, "mommy do you love me or what?" and I interpret this as, do you love me enough to show me by example how to be all that is possible?  Will you work hard, mommy, to break old patterns that Ms. Iyanla Vanzant refers to as, "that DNA core level stuff that's got roots and cause, historical patterns and pathology that's embedded so deep we don't even know where to begin?"  Yes I know I'm getting deep, but its true, and my darling baby girl I do.  You will be a Phenomenal women.  Cause that's all I know.  Don't you?

Prima Diva  

little Miss bossy turns three today and I can't stop saying thank you to God because those doctors told me she wouldnt' be all right---could be this, might be that, we'll just have to wait and see.  I remember looking at her as an infant thinking I can't wait until you are three so that we can prove them wrong, and now baby girl is three and doing mighty fine.  Holler if you hear me, and believe me when I say I know Phenomenal woman. 

little Miss bossy

So in honor of all of the women, teachers, guides, who move through my life and are too countless to name, know that I'm honoring you.  My lovely readers, I salute and pay hommage to you with this classic poem from our beloved Maya Angelou who said, "I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels.  Life's a bitch.  You've got to go out and kick ass."  I give you....  

PHENOMENAL WOMAN 

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally,
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
They swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But that can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breast,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman

Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomanal woman,
That's me.
In honor of Women's History month share this blog with one other Phenomenal woman!

Phenomenally yours,
Sadeqa        

A Penny for Your Books...Please!

The written word feels like a French kiss to my untethered soul.  When I was in kindergarten I remember sitting in our South Philadelphia kitchen with my older cousin Donnie reading the pictures of a book with such reverence that he commented, "girl you swear you can read."  That was before ever child was born talented and gifted and we didn't learn to read until first or second grade.  My family moved shortly thereafter and in our new house I didn't have many books.  But in third grade I was granted the privilege of my very first library card, and in the sound of a snap I went from a girl who liked to skate, skip and step, to a head over heals book worm. 

It feels like just yesterday when the summer was salty and sultry and I was dressed in a flowing skirt and moccasin sandals, walking with a handful of books six blocks to the Logan library.  The stone steps sent a jolt of excitement through my heart that was hard to contain as I pulled back the heavy door and entered heaven.  Just the smell of black ink on all of those stitched pages cast all thoughts of making it home in time for dinner far, far away.  I was helpless to the stories in books by America's favorite adolescent authors Judy Blume, Paula Danzinger and Joanna Hurwitz.  Each week I trotted home with five books and I repeated the act with such faithfulness that the librarian started setting new arrivals aside for me. 

In seventh grade I discovered the Sweet Valley High series, you remember the books about the popular identical twins that were always pretending to be each other and getting into trouble?  My teacher Mr. Klechuski looked liked he smoked a pack of Marlboro Reds a day and his coffee was always getting caught in his hippy beard and mustache so it was hard to take him seriously.  Instead of paying attention while he taught things that I already knew, I slipped my paperback between the pages of my text book and lost myself for the entire day.  It wasn't until high school that I discovered the great African-American writers such as Maya Angelou, Terry McMillan, Toni Morrison and Bebe Moore Campbell and I would read so much during my fifty-minute lunch period that my best friend would hide my books in an attempt to make me social.

So in honor of Woman's History month, I've composed a list of my favorite books by or about women to share with you.  Some will make you laugh, holler, and get so far under your skin that you'll want to share it with your book club.  Books make me oh so happy, and I hope you will enjoy one or all of them.

Fiction
Acting Out by Benilde Little
Your Blues Ain't Like Mine by Bebe Moore Campbell
Their Eyes Were Watching God by Zora Neale Hurston
Leaving Cecil Street by Diane McKinney Whetstone
Now is the Time to Open Your Heart by Alice Walker
Sugar by Bernice McFadden
This Bitter Earth by Bernice McFadden
Eleven Minutes by Paulo Coelho
Brida by Paulo Coelho
The Blue Orchard by Jackson Taylor
The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison
Mama by Terry McMillan
Disappearing Acts by Terry McMillan
Drinking Coffee Elsewhere (short stories) by ZZ Packer
Damaged by Kia DuPree
Orange Mint and Honey by Carleen Brice
The Help by Kathryn Stockett
* Love in a Carry-on Handbag by Sadeqa Johnson (coming soon!)
Historical fiction (slavery, futurist, biblical)
Wench by Dolen Perkins-Valdez
Cane River by Lalita Tademy
The Red Tent by Anita Diamant
Parable of the Sower by Octavia Butler
Parable of the Talents by Octavia Butler
Family by J California Cooper
A Long Way From Home by Connie Briscoe
Jubilee by Margaret Walker
Memoir / Biography /Autobiography
I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou
Laughing in the Dark by Patrice Gaines
The Glass Castle by Jeanette Wall
Memoirs of Geisha by Arthur Golden
Foreign Fiction
The Bride Price by Buchi Emecheta
The Joys of Motherhood by Buchi Emecheta
The Autobiography of My Mother by Jamaica Kincaid
A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini
Spiritual
Peace From Broken Pieces by Iyanla Vanzant
Yesterday, I Cried by Iyanla Vanzant
Everyday Grace by Marianne Williamson
Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert
Seven Soulful Secrets for Finding your Purpose and Minding Your Mission by Stephanie Stokes Oliver
Listening Below the Noise: A Meditation on the Practice of Silence by Anne D. LeClaire
You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hays
Woman's Studies
Women who Run With the Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estes
Naked: Black Women Bare All About Their Skin, Hair, Lips, Hips and other Parts by Ayana Byrd
Star Woman by Lynn V. Andrews
Mama Gena's School of Womanly Arts: Using the Power of Pleasure to Have your way with the World by Regena Thomashauer
The Female Brain by Louann Brizendine
On Writing
bird by bird (some instruction on writing) by Anne Lamott
The Right to Write by Julia Cameron
Writing Motherhood by Lisa Garrigues
Writing Down the Bones by Natalie Goldberg
Poems
Love Poems by Nikki Giovani
Maya Angelou Poems: by Maya Angelou
Head Off & Split: Poems by Nikky Finney
Selected Poems (PS) by Gwendolyn Brooks
Plays
For colored girls who have considered suicide / When the rainbow was enuf  by Ntozake Shange
The Colored Museum by George C. Wolfe
A Raisin in the Sun by Lorraine Hansberry
Spunk by George C. Wolfe
Ma Rainey's Black Bottom by August Wilson

So this is my list!  Make some time this month to curl up with one or a few of these books in honor of the many women writers and stories that have paved the way for us today.  Happy reading!

With gratitude,
Love, Light and Laughter!